Is honesty honestly that bad?

When I first came into the associate editor position, I had a plan in my head. I wanted to make sure I edited while keeping people’s personalities and how they would take things in mind. One of the first things I did was meet with individuals and asked them, “Do you want me to be honest or nice?” And that raised one of the largest questions on my mind. Can honesty be honestly bad?

I love when someone’s brutally honest with me, with certain exceptions. Sometimes I don’t want to hear the honest truth. So, when does honesty become a negative thing? 

I hear a lot of people always saying, ‘I want people to be honest with me and tell me if something is going on,’ or some version of that statement. But, the second I do tell someone, they get upset because they didn’t want to hear it. Lying, of course, isn’t the best option. There’s a better way to be honest while keeping peace but not fully sugar-coating something. 

Some know the saying, “Honesty is a virtue.” But, wouldn’t a more virtuous person be able to read the room and tell when someone doesn’t necessarily need to know the full truth in that moment? 

For example, I had a friend, who I’ll be keeping anonymous, who had some basic boy drama. Nothing new to the wonderous world of high school. All of her friends knew this guy didn’t want to be with her in a romantic relationship, and he even made it beyond obvious himself. She just couldn’t get the hint. I can’t blame her either. But, one friend of hers told her one day. It was a bad week for her to start, and this girl added the huge pile of whipped cream and caramel drizzle on top of the dreadful sundae. I remember walking into my eighth period class and talking to a mutual friend of ours and just saying, “Why would she ever say that, especially right now?”

That whole situation is a prime example of honesty is good but too much is bad. 

Words have so many meanings to everyday life, and some people forget about it as a whole, even taking it for granted. So, when we let a white lie slip out to protect feelings, it’s not honestly that bad. When we tell bigger, more serious lies, that’s when people can be seen as dishonest or egocentric. 

Adding on top of all things negative, being honest raises another issue. The difference between brutally honest and being an awful, rude human being. When being brutally honest, someone doesn’t condemn or criticize; they don’t make it seem like that person is the one in the wrong or is an idiot. While blunt, honesty can be seen as being rude or inconsiderate, it is nothing like being straight out disrespectful.