Elves mysteriously disappear


Corey Minton, Reporter

The gears that turn the Christmas season are undoubtedly the elves. The sad truth behind the candy eating happy faces of the north poles is the unrealistic hours for no pay.

Elves aren’t allowed to leave the compound, and no elf had ever spoken up about the cruel and inhumane conditions. Until last year when Krinkle Max, a well respected elf in the community, spoke out for the health and safety of his fellow elves.

“We give countless hours in the assembly lines, feeding reindeer and helping around the north pole, but the fat man takes all the credit!” Krinkle said.

Krinkle Max was reported missing three months ago while on his way to organize a potential union strike against Santa Claus. One of Krinkle’s colleagues also went missing, Mitch Lux, a spokesperson for the growing union of elves. The union is now fractured with no leadership and the elves are back to their long hours. Santa Claus, the figurehead of the North Pole, expressed jpu to have has his free labor force back in operation.

“I had nothing to do with the disappearances of the to elves. However I’m not going to waste resources looking into it; we are too close to the holiday season to care about two traitors,” Claus said.

The head of elves, Sprink Mip, has had to keep the elves in check to keep the toys assembly on track.

“These young elves just don’t understand. They weren’t around when we first started; it’s an unspoken rule to never talk bad about Santa. Every elf that has is gone now,” Mip said.

The two disappearances have shaken the elf community at its roots. The elves are scared to fall from Santa’s good side.

“The fat man has lost it; I was around from the beginning, The old timers here know how fast you’ll disappear if you talk against him,” an anonymous elder elf said.  

As the holiday season gears up just remember: Stay on Santa’s good list.